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.."Leaning forward, Lester's dad muttered, "Oh..."And as he leaned forward, his hand settled onto the console between thetwo booths... pushing in a large button. Suddenly the machine startedhumming and a light started to glow from within each of the booths."NO!" Dr. McRay yelled out.Lester could only let out a loud gasp as what felt like an electricalshock shot straight through his body. Everything around him was hummingand glowing, though he scarcely noticed that, being too preoccupied withwhat he was feeling. Though Lester's first instinct was to jump out ofthe booth... his whole body seemed frozen. It seemed... disconnected.He couldn't even feel anything anymore. Nothing at all."What the fuck is going on?" Lester's dad demanded from outside thebooth, though Lester could barely hear him.Suddenly Lester's sense of being disconnected from his body grew evenstronger. And just when he thought it couldn't get any weirder,everything flickered out completely. An instant later Lester. I think I really enjoyed being told what to do. I always felt, in a strange way, that I could not be held accountable for any of the things I did and the full accountability lay with Ken. Ken was the instigator and thereby assumed full accountability.It's a bit like the way someone explained the freedom and liberation you feel when you adopt a submissive sexual role. The dominant person assumes the accountability leaving the submissive unfettered and not constrained by any expectations of 'normal' or acceptable behaviour.It sounds contradictory and yet it makes sense to me. I feel it. I feel liberated and exhilarated when I assume a submissive role but I never feel that when I assume a dominant role. The dominant role carries responsibility and accountability. I always felt safe with Ken in a way I never felt with any other man. I trusted him completely yet that trust was never earned it just seemed to somehow manifest on that first night with him.I always believed that no matter.
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